Tuesday, June 5, 2012

An interview with Burrito...

Throughout Sports history there are fans who have become an insignia or symbol of a team. The Lakers have Jack Nicholson, The Knicks have Spike Lee... The Miami Fusion had Burrito.

Very little is know about this mysterious and solitary soul. According to Burrito he was Born one cold night in the year of our lord 1998 in the city of Toluca, Mexico. His Mother a Chihuahua, his father unknown, this half breed was a Toluca Fan since birth and became a member of the supporters group known as la Perra Brava! He eventually came to this country by ways unknown and now resides in Homestead, Florida. I was able to get a hold of him by chance, while walking by a restaurant in Homestead called El Toro. I looked down and felt something hump my leg... He proceeded to eat out of the trash and while he chewed on a piece of leftover quesadilla we talked about Mexico, Futbol and bitches... Mostly bitches...  and here is what happened: (I'll try my best to capture Burritos accent. I mean, he speaks dog so here is my translation and My nickname is Chichi btw...read on...)

Uncle Ed (ChiChi): Just like many of us, your heart must have been broken when our team The Miami Fusion was taken from us.
Burrito: Pinches Putos nos chingaron! All Burrito have was that team. If it wasn't for the Mexican League and Burritos mami back in Mexico, Burrito would have died. And Burrito gots to tell you his mami is a real bitch!
UE: Why the name Burrito?
B: Why the name Chichi carnal?
UE: ChiChi is a nickname.
B: In Mexico they call boobies chichis puto, you should change the name. Burrito call himself Burrito after favorite food and because when Burrito play Futbol people say Burrito looked like Ariel "Burrito" Ortega from Argentina.
UE: Is it true you used to take the bus to Lockhart Stadium from Homestead? That's got to be like 50 miles at least.
B: Si, it was very far but when you love Futbol like Burrito love Futbol then you no think of it. Burrito used to sneak in pick up truck of this Afusionado member and he listen to some music by Vicente Fernandez and time go by fast. Pero now Burrito just live at Lockharts Stadium.
UE: Have you tried doing something about your writing skills?
B: No, Burrito got paws so kina hard to type.
UE: So we almost had a New MLS team in 2008 what are your thoughts on that?
B: Que? Burrito drop piece of quesadilla...
UE: Oh... never mind.
On that note, It was nice talking to you. You should come back to the Bigsoccer forums where you used to be a hit!
B: Burrito have too many enemies in Bigsoccer, people no like him there an give him Red Card! Beside, Burrito too Macho for them, maybe one day when Strikers make it to MLS Burrito make return. Burrito used to be part of Afusionados, but now Burrito is a Miami Ultras and sleep under section 115 at Lockhart Stadium. Sometimes late at night people can hears cowbell and hot bitches yellings. When you hear that then you know its Burrito!
UE: Ok Burrito thanks!
B: Arf!
You can read Burrito's contributions to this blog from time to time so stay tuned!!!

For more on Burrito see his profile and become his friend on Myspace:
Yes, Myspace!  Not kidding!
Follow Burrito on Twitter: @BurritoFutbol 
LIKE his facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/burritofutbol
You can sometimes listen to Burrito on Ultras Alive  www.ultrasalive.com every Monday at 9PM 
Burrito is the only soccer blogging dawg in the known universe! Since 1998! Join Burrito's everything or he hit you on head with quesadilla! Vamos Strikers!